Answering her phone on Christmas Day in 2015, Vann Stuedeman assumed it was just a typical holiday greeting. The call was from Alex Wilcox, a highly sought-after 16-year-old who had already committed to play softball under Stuedeman at Mississippi State, though the message was one of the most troublings things Stuedeman could have imagined. Calling from the hospital, Wilcox informed her future head coach that she had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer.
"It was really shocking to hear," Stuedeman said, "but with the sweetest southern drawl, she said, 'We're just going to do everything as if this isn't happening. I will do everything I can, every single day, until my body doesn't let me, and it's not gonna stop me.' You get on that train. I was like, 'Heck yeah.'"
Like Stuedeman's own family, the Wilcox family – father, Shaun; mother, LeAnn; sisters, Alex and Kassidy – is extremely competitive, whether it be in softball or ping pong, yet they remain extremely tight-knit and loving. Both Alex and Kassidy played softball, and Shaun would throw front toss and batting practice to his daughters, other kids in the neighborhood, and players on the local high-school team every Wednesday. The family was the talk of the town, and Stuedeman says "everybody wants to know them."
Looking to stay in school while also undergoing chemo, Alex and her family would make the two-hour drive from their hometown of Brantley, Alabama, to Birmingham for treatment, and return home for Alex's softball games. Despite the odds stacked against her, Alex refused to stop fighting.
"She would go have chemo in Birmingham, jump in the car, drive back to her high school, go straight to the dugout, and hit a home run," Stuedeman said. "She lost all her hair. She was still in the dugout. She was still playing. She played all through high school, won four softball state championships and a basketball state championship. She was just an incredible young lady."
Following Alex's immaculate high-school softball career – the softball field is now named after her – and with the opportunity to head to Mississippi State as the fifth-ranked recruit in the country in 2017, Alex's parents made the incredibly difficult decision to send their daughter to Starkville, letting her experience the life of a college student regardless of her dire health situation. But, like she had been doing for the last two years, Alex stayed strong and kept fighting, and she made the most of her time in college.
"One thing that really stands out to me about the whole thing is her parents," Stuedeman said. "They knew their daughter was on a very steep climb. It would take nothing short of a miracle for her life to be saved, but they let her go to college. The strength and courage that her parents had to let her go to college, to experience as much life as she can get is just inspiring to me. They are so tough, and she was so tough."
Once Alex arrived at Mississippi State, she balanced radiation treatments with being a Division-I student-athlete. She stayed on top of her coursework, got straight A's, and did not miss any class, all while undergoing radiation and attending softball practices and games. That was the same standard to which she held herself in high school, and she did not plan on changing that once she got to college.
Radiation continued throughout the fall, though it never seemed like enough, and Stuedeman recognized the severity of the situation.
"It just never seemed to go away. It was like putting out a fire but not extinguishing it the whole way, and then it reflames and starts back," Stuedeman said. "But they are not quitters. They were doing everything they could to save their daughter."
As the cancer and treatment continued to take a toll, Alex continued her fight. Playing in eight games and making three starts over the course of the 2018 season, Alex registered three hits across 15 at-bats, but her impact was also felt in other ways.
Leaning on Alex all season long, Mississippi State launched the "No One Fights Alone" campaign and wore teal uniforms for its midweek games, and every SEC softball program got involved. Teams across the conference also donned teal and sent messages of love and support, and all 13 programs were awarded the SEC Sportsmanship Award after the season. Every staff member from the SEC wore teal shirts during the conference tournament, while the programs rased money for Geaux Teal, an organization focused on ovarian cancer awareness and education regarding signs and symptoms among women of all ages.
Even as the outlook dimmed, Alex refused to give up and remained ambitious and optimistic. Unfortunately, Alex passed away from ovarian cancer on June 25, 2018, at the age of 18.
"She did just exactly what she told me she was going to do on Christmas Day her junior year in high school," Stuedeman said. "She said, 'I'm gonna do everything I can every single day unless my body won't let me,' and that's what she did."
eXactly as she would have wished, Alex's spirit lives on among everyone she has touched. Her locker at Mississippi State is encased in glass, and her No. 8 jersey was retired by the school. She was the the first female student-athlete in Mississippi State history to receive the honor.
The SEC continues to honor Alex with the annual "All for Alex" Weekend, which will take place on Saturday. It honors her legacy and includes teal uniforms or accents for all 13 SEC teams, and the Bulldogs have continued the tradition of wearing teal uniforms for its midweek games. Mississippi State also honors a student-athlete every year with the Alex Wilcox Perseverance Award, which is presented to a female athlete "whose determination and perseverance in overcoming obstacles academically, athletically, or even personally, is a testament to their tremendous character."
Embodying everything a coach could ever ask of a student-athlete, Alex is the definition of courage, resilience, and perseverance, and Illinois will participate in the "All for Alex" campaign in conjunction with the SEC as it takes on Michigan State in its Strikeout Cancer Weekend. The Illini will don teal ribbons on Saturday, when it takes on the Spartans at 5 p.m. CT. The game will also air on ESPNU.
As Alex's coach, Stuedeman has been deeply impacted by her time with Alex, and she remains close with the Wilcox family. Alex may be gone, but her legacy will never be forgotten.
Let us forever remember the remarkable Alex Wilcox (July 1, 1999-June 25, 2018).
"This is what she wanted," Stuedeman said. "When you meet somebody and their time is shortened, then what was their goal, what was their mission, and how can you help them keep their mission, their hopes, and their journey alive while they can't be here? It means everything to me to be able to have that opportunity to keep her spirit alive, keep her legacy alive.
"I never dreamed I would coach softball; the opportunities weren't there at the time, but then they started popping up. Once you get into the profession, you're like, 'OK, am I here to win, or am I here to form relationships and impact people?' If there was ever any doubt in that, at that point in time in my life, she was the solidifying decision maker. This is about people. This is about loving people and empowering people. She taught me that. From that point forward, it would always be, to me, about taking care of the people that I'm honored to have the opportunity to be around."
